Unlikely Endorsement [Bryan]

Below is a fun little video of former Governor Mitt Romney endorsing most of the key provisions of President Obama's American Jobs Act: tax credits to businesses who hire those who’ve been out of work for six months, a cut in the payroll taxes for workers and small business, allowing businesses to write off the cost of capital investments, and increasing infrastructure spending. Romney, you won't be surprised, has explicitly endorsed all of this in the recent past, even though he now is strongly against the act. Improving the economy and helping people find jobs, after all, runs against his ambition to president. Economic chaos means more Republican success.

Notice that Romney also strongly endorsed the 2008 bank bailouts (see here) and both fiscal and monetary stimulus in 2008 (see here), before reversing his position when it became unpopular. Think of that next time Romney criticizes Obama on the economy. I really wonder if this guy has any core beliefs or character, beyond an all-consuming, life-long quest to be President Romney.

One more thing about BYU-Utah

Not to bring up bad memories for anyone, but I had one more thought on this BYU-Utah rivalry business. Gordon Monson wrote the other day after the Utah demolished the Cougars:

For the most part, Utah goes about its business, winning games. BYU talks about its lofty goals of national championships and national exposure, comparing itself to Notre Dame, and then, more than once or twice or thrice, embarrasses itself with its stumbling and bumbling, its lack of preparation, its lack of execution, its lack of proper coaching.

The title of his piece was "Utah Football is Better than BYU and Its Not Even Close." At first, I disagreed with this because the records of BYU and Utah are nearly identical over the past decade. I came to agree, though, that Utah has felt more successful. Why is that? Part of it is that Utah's best seasons have been much better than BYU's best seasons (2004, 2009). But most of it has to do with expectations. The expectations of BYU are always so unbelievably high they inevitably come up short (this is the same reason why a 10-2 record here at Ohio State always feels like a complete failure). Before any games are played, BYU fans anoint themselves "BCS busters" and then inevitably end up playing in the Las Vegas bowl. Utah almost always seems to play under the radar, no matter how successful they've been in the past. Given this, it seems that Utah is more successful than BYU, even though both teams have roughly similar records.

By the way, I think this craving for positive exposure is, in part, formed by BYU's relationship to the LDS Church. We Mormons also seem to crave positive PR. We want people to think we are not weird. We want to be popular in sometimes unbecoming ways. The exposure-craving nature of BYU, then, is partly a product of the same impulse in the larger LDS community.

First Day of School Pics [Bryan]

Another year, another child off to school. Good luck in Kindergarten Andrew!

Summer pics [Bryan]

Here are some pictures from our trip to Utah last month.

The kids were able to spend a lot of time in the water. Here is Stephen "fishing," he said, with a canoe oar.

Canoeing with Grandma and Grandpa Merkley at Pineview Reservoir.

We did a bit of hiking, too, which is always important to us on our Utah trips.

Took a trip to Antelope Island in the Great Salt Lake. I love the arid, dusty, smelly beauty of this region.

We didn't see many antelope on Antelope Island. But the whole place was covered with spiders the size of 50-cent pieces. In this picture alone, you can see five of the monsters.

Good Stephen pic.

Grandma and Grandpa Warnick took us on the Heber Scenic Railroad. It was great fun, particularly for our train-obsessed boys.

My cousins put together a party where all the Warnick cousins could get together. Here is a picture of all the 2nd cousins (children of my cousins) that were there.

We stopped by my grandparent's old farm, now mostly crumbling into memory.

We were able to spend some great time with my brother Derek and his family, along with Amber's family, and Ashlee and Kurt. And of course, Grandma and Grandpa.

More fun in the water.

Utah has been wet. While we were there, my parent's backyard flooded, which led to another opportunity to play in the water.

Calling Mr. Stivers [Bryan]

Here is my letter to our dear Congressman Steve Stivers (and Senator Portman) about the American Jobs Act that President Obama recently sent to congress. I'm putting this here because I doubt anyone in Stiver's office will read the whole thing.

Dear Representative Stivers,

We are writing to urge you to pass President Obama's "American Jobs Act" in its entirety. The provisions calling for more infrastructure spending and more money for states to retain teachers and first responders are particularly important to us. Here are the reasons you should support the bill:

1. It will create jobs. According to Mark Zandi of Moody’s Analytics, “The plan would add 2 percentage points to GDP growth next year, add 1.9 million jobs, and cut the unemployment rate by a percentage point.” We need this now because Ohio’s unemployment rate is at an unacceptable 9.0%.

2. All of the provisions have been endorsed by Republicans over the years. It is truly a bipartisan bill. Rejecting any of these provisions now will look like a mere partisan stunt to score political points against President Obama.

3. All of the major provisions of the act receive substantial public support. According to a CNN poll, clear majorities of Americans support cutting the payroll tax (65% support), providing state aid to protect jobs for teachers and first responders (74%), and investing in infrastructure (64%).

4.The bill reflects a growing consensus among economic experts. Examples: The non-partisan Congressional Budget Office (“If policymakers wanted to achieve both a short-term economic boost and medium- and long-term fiscal sustainability,” CBO chief Doug Elmendorf recently said, the “most effective” policy would be “changes in taxes and spending that would widen the deficit now but narrow it later in the decade”), a wide variety of economists (e.g., Bruce Bartlett, a policy advisor to Ronald Reagan: “The important thing is for policy makers to stop obsessing about debt and focus instead on raising aggregate demand.”), the financial industry (The Financial Times editorial: “In broad terms, the needed elements are plain: further short-term stimulus combined with credible longer-term fiscal restraint”), the bond markets (“You’ve got to create a demand for labor,” Mr. Gross [a Republican, and a chief investment officer at Pimco] recently said. “The private sector is not going to do it. Putting a shovel in the hands of somebody can be productive”), Republican Fed chairman Ben Bernanke (“In the absence of adequate demand from the private sector, a substantial fiscal consolidation in the shorter term could add to the headwinds facing economic growth and hiring”), the International Monetary Fund (Reuters: “IMF chief Christine Lagarde said in an interview released on Sunday that Europe and the United States should consider stimulating economic growth, if the situation permits, to offset a crisis of confidence hitting the global economy”), and many business leaders.

In sum, the bill is vitally necessary, it is popular, it is bipartisan, and it reflects the current economic consensus. Now is not the time to play partisan games (the nonsense over the budget ceiling was very troubling). Put your constituents first and pass the bill.

Drama at Soccer Practice [Ellie]

Nora and Andrew are playing soccer at a new venue this year--a nearby YMCA. The 'Y' is much closer to our house than their last venue, but in a worse part of town.

Tonight at soccer practice I was sitting in my camp chair reading a book as the kids scrimmaged on the field. The sound of a distant helicopter became louder and louder until I looked up to see it seemingly circling the soccer field. This will seem odd to people who've never lived by a freeway, but I'm pretty used to circling helicopters. I went back to reading my book.

Then, a dad beside me exclaimed, "Two police officers just got out of that car!"

I think we all put the scene together in that instant: on the other side of the fence from the soccer field were two men running. The helicopter, bottle-blue and clearly marked "POLICE" was buzzing above them like an overgrown housefly. The officers were running toward them. More officers appeared opposite them and the suspects were surrounded.

The coaches ushered all the children to one side of the soccer field to watch what happened next from a safe distance.

What happened next?

Not much. The two suspects were the sorriest looking lot I've seen--both overweight and wearing sweats. They gave up running pretty much instantly and stayed pliantly still, waiting for the officers to reach them. There was a lot of quiet discussion, a brief cheer (we suspect from the officers. . .?) and off they all went in the police cars. The good guys win again.

I leaned over to ask the dad beside me, "We're new in this league. Does this happen at every practice?"

No, no, he assured me. Usually the helicopters are farther away.

Comforting.

Poem for 9/11 Sunday [Bryan]

"Try to Praise the Mutilated World" by Adam Zagajewsk:

You’ve seen the refugees heading nowhere,
you’ve heard the executioners sing joyfully.
You should praise the mutilated world.
Remember the moments when we were together
in a white room and the curtain fluttered.
Return in thought to the concert where music flared.
You gathered acorns in the park in autumn
and leaves eddied over the earth’s scars.
Praise the mutilated world
and the gray feather a thrush lost,
and the gentle light that strays and vanishes
and returns.

Source.

BYU-Utah already? [Bryan]

So next Saturday is the big game. Yes, already. It has been moved from its traditional time during rivalry week at the end of November. I'm not at all pleased about this. Rivals play at the end of the season for a reason. Through the season you have time to build up a narrative. You come to know the players and what they are capable of. You see some players grow up, some choke, and some go down with injuries and then come back. You know, or think you know, what a team is made of. With these narratives come expectations.

The brilliance of an end of the year rivalry game, though, is how it overturns all these narratives. Things happen in rivalry games -- crazy, unexpected, out-of-character things -- that signal how important and meaningful a game it is. The specialness of the game becomes apparent as the emotions bring out different layers, different aspects of a team's psychological make-up that had previously been hidden. The BYU-Utah game, for example, almost always brought out a delightful nasty edge in both teams, which are usually so civilized and well-behaved. This early in the season I can't say I have many expectations, and therefore I will have no unexpected surprises that mark the game as meaningful.

And what is up with trying to make Colorado the new rival to Utah? You can't just invent rivalries like that, or resurrect ones that have died. BYU-Utah was one of the nation's great rivalries because of how the differences between the schools reflected larger cultural gaps: Public versus private, religious versus secular, liberal versus conservative, straight-laced Provo versus laid back Salt Lake City, and so forth. These gaps just don't exist between Utah and Colorado. Boulder, Colorado, for example, is famously liberal. Hippie versus hippie action is not so fun.

Whatever the case, go Utes.

Big moment in every boy's life [Bryan]

There was a great article in the paper the other day called, "The Case Against Summer." Key quote from a summer reminiscence:

Eating Whoppers and fries for breakfast together was a bonding experience. Every boy treasures that moment when his father first says to him, "I don't think Mom needs to know about this."

If you don't believe this is how things are around our house, too, let me disabuse you of that notion. Exhibit A is Ellie's semi-serious comment to me the other day, which went something like this: "Your relationship with our children is built almost entirely on junk food." Exaggerated? Yes, quite a bit. Slightly hurtful? Indeed. Entirely false and inaccurate? No, I can't say that it is.

Round One Goes to the Toddler [Ellie]

Yesterday, we started potty training Stephen. It went really well!

. . .For the first hour-and-a-half. And then it fell to pieces.

We were all set. Stephen and I shopped for undies and gummy bears--both his selection. We got home and tried on all 15 pairs: Thomas, Lightning McQueen, Monster Trucks. He loved them! He went potty 3 times in 90 minutes!

After nap, we headed back to the potty. He dutifully sat for several minutes while we sang songs. Nothing doing. I let him off; he ran directly to the corner and peed on the floor.

Eighteen hours, eight accidents, and but two successes later things were looking grim. Stephen still wanted the Big Boy Underpants, but no longer wanted to have anything to do with the potty. I've talked with four different adults now who all had the same message for me: quit now. Try again in a month.

That is exactly what I plan to do.

This was supposed to go so much better.

The potty train has been derailed.

Thoughts on current events [Bryan]

Various tidbits from the political scene, both good and bad:

1. Many of my conservative friends are now excited about Texas Governor Rick Perry, and want him to be our next president. For now, I'll simply point out that, at least on one issue, he seems like something of a moral monster: "He vetoed a bill that would have spared the mentally retarded, and sharply criticized a Supreme Court ruling that juveniles were not eligible for the death penalty." (source)

2. President Obama's health reform initiative had two big goals: increase access to health insurance for those who don't have it and, less well known, decrease federal health care costs. Early evidence suggests already some success on the second front: "Over the year ending May 2011, Medicare claims costs rose at an annual rate of 2.64%, as measured by the Healthcare Economic Medicare Index. That number is down 4.36 percentage points since May 2010, and down 5.53 percentage points since its November 2009 high. This represents the lowest annual growth rate in the six years S&P has been tracking the health care information." (source)

3. NATO involvement in the Libyan civil war appears to at least have avoided the worst case scenario of a long-term stalemate. Still, President Obama's handling of this issue with respect to the War Powers Act, in which he circumvented congressional approval because, the administration said, tactical bombing is not the "right kind" of hostilities imagined by the Act, remains one of the dumbest arguments I've ever heard in politics. (source)

4. The damage done to the economy by the Republican's no-compromise hostage-taking over the debt limit is now becoming evident. Everyone from the rating agencies, like S&P, to Ben Bernake, the Republican Fed Chairman, point to this wild Tea-Party brinkmanship as one important cause of recent economic turmoil (see here and here).

5. Obama's much criticized auto-bailout quietly appears to be one of things keeping the economy from becoming much worse: "Taxpayers bailed out much of the U.S. auto industry. Now the carmakers might be what saves the nation's economy from falling back into recession. After a massive restructuring and several high-profile bankruptcies, a leaner, more aggressive auto industry is making a comeback, hiring workers and ramping up manufacturing plants. From a trough two years ago, Ford Motor Co., General Motors Co., Chrysler Group and other auto companies have added almost 90,000 manufacturing jobs, a 14% increase, according to federal employment data." (source)

6. When people blame Obama for his "out-of-control government spending," I always like to ask them to name the new legislation that has been enacted under the Democrats that increases government outlays. Beyond the 2008 stimulus, which was a one-shot deal and therefore not a driver of future deficits, they can't. The reason: significant new legislation that increases spending does not exist. Current deficits are caused almost entirely by the recession and Bush-era tax cuts.


7. New, peer-reviewed research on global warming is not encouraging: "At last year’s annual American Association for the Advancement of Science meeting, UC Santa Barbara’s William Freudenberg gave a presentation in which he revealed that “new scientific findings are found to be more than twenty times as likely to indicate that global climate disruption is ‘worse than previously expected,’ rather than ‘not as bad as previously expected.’” Yikes. (source)

8. Politifact verifies the reality: "The top 1 percent of all income earners in the United States made 23.5 percent of all income -- more than the entire bottom 50 percent. The percentage of income going to the top 1 percent has nearly tripled since the 1970s. In the mid-1970s, the top 1 percent earned about 8 percent of all income. In the 1980s, that figure jumped to 14 percent. In the late 1990s, that 1 percent earned about 19 percent." Meanwhile, preserving slightly lower marginal tax rates for these wealthy folks seems to be the only major policy goal of the Republican party. (source)

Movie recommendation [Bryan]

I've been meaning to blog about this for some time, but I wanted to recommend the movie, Another Year, directed by Mike Leigh (I was previously unfamiliar with Leigh's films, but apparently he is a big deal among the movie intelligentsia). Warning: The movie is conversation driven, amounting to about 2 hours of talking, so I guess it isn't for everybody. It depicts a marriage, where a husband and wife appear to genuinely delight in their long-term relationship. The movie captures the day-to-day reality of a stable, happy marriage in a completely convincing way. Indeed, what is great is how this movie captures the communicative nuance of everyday life. Every facial expression, every eye movement, every verbal tick, every raised eyebrow is pitch perfect. The movie contrasts the marriage of the main characters, Gerri and Tom, with the storms of loneliness experienced by the people who surround it. It makes you think about the ideas of loneliness and love, where they can be found, what causes them, and how people who experience both love and loneliness affect each other. Highly recommended.

Columbus Reborn [Bryan]

For a long time, I had the sense that Columbus really lacked an identity, or even a sense of place. The city has been disconnected from its past and has been lacking a vision for the future. I can't tell you how many grand landmarks have been torn down, how many businesses have fled downtown, how much the waterfront (the key to a great city) was lacking in character and imagination, and so forth. Columbus, I felt, was a "convenient" city, but that was about all that could be said for it.

In the past few weeks, I've really changed my mind. I've strolled around the newly hip and vibrant Short North District, hung out again at Schiller park in German Village taking in a free play, and marveled at the connection Columbus somehow has with the Royal Shakespeare Company, which produced an amazing kid-friendly (!) production of Hamlet last month. However, the key to the resurrection of Columbus, in my mind, is the new parks downtown. They have really gotten serious about reshaping their public places in the city and it is really paying off. There is now a string of parks along the Scioto River, the "Scioto Mile," all interconnected by bike paths. There is now the biggest splash park I have ever seen, which will draw families back to downtown. There is a new central park in place of the old City Center Mall, Columbus Commons, which comes complete with a carousel, an outdoor library, beautiful gardens, and European-style outdoor cafe. There are pedestrian-friendly bridges linking the east and west banks of the Scioto, meaning that people can easily walk from COSI to downtown (the new Main Street Bridge is the first inclined arch bridge in North America). The central park is linked to the waterfront parks by cobblestone streets and urban gardens. Very cool. Behold a city reborn!

The mind reels [Bryan]

Watching the national debate has been immensely discouraging lately. I will leave Kevin Drum to sum up my feelings:

Republicans got the tax cuts they wanted. They got the financial deregulation they wanted. They got the wars they wanted. They got the unfunded spending increases they wanted. And the results were completely, unrelentingly disastrous. A decade of sluggish growth and near-zero wage increases. A massive housing bubble. Trillions of dollars in war spending and thousands of American lives lost. A financial collapse. A soaring long-term deficit. Sky-high unemployment. All on their watch and all due to policies they eagerly supported. And worse: ever since the predictable results of their recklessness came crashing down, they've rabidly and nearly unanimously opposed every single attempt to dig ourselves out of the hole they created for us. But despite the fact that this is all recent history, it's treated like some kind of dreamscape. No one talks about it. Republicans pretend it never happened. Fox News insists that what we need is an even bigger dose of the medicine we got in the aughts, and this is, inexplicably, treated seriously by the rest of the press corps instead of being laughed at.

Behold, the Pit Master

The ribs turned out well, if you were wondering. They were juicy, flavorful, and nicely smoked. They were fairly tender, but next time I'm going to give them 15 more minutes. Great Father's Day!

West Virginia, Land of Mystery

Last week, we trekked down to Southern Ohio and West Virginia to do some exploring. The main destination was Blackwater Canyon, just outside of Davis, West Virginia. We found West Virginia to be a misty, mysterious place. We traveled mostly along the back country roads, winding their way around hills and over streams, up and down, through the forested mountains and ramshackle villages. Usually, you can only see the road and a few feet off the shoulder into the dense forest. Even at the top of the mountains, when a rare clearing opens up, you see only forested mountains in all directions. In short, one can only see a fraction of the people and creatures that surround you. The landscape is obscured, covered by hills of green blankets, hiding everything below tree line. This is very different from where I have lived. Utah had the mountains but lacked the dense, shrouding vegetation. Illinois and Ohio had the vegetation, but lacked the mountains. These twin disguises, mountains and dense forests, were both present in West Virginia.

The first day we headed off to Southern Ohio, stopping first in Marietta, Ohio, where we decided to take a ride up the Ohio River on the Valley Gem Sternwheeler. The early summer weather was beautiful. The kids loved watching the paddles go round and round. The highlight was when the first-mate let Andrew drive the boat, which he did successfully, without crashes or fatalities. We then headed up OH 26, the "Covered Bridges Scenic Byway" in Wayne National Forrest. The bridges were evocative and cute, surrounded by a landscape of verdant rolling hills. Even more impressive, though, was the drive to New Martinsville, West Virginia, via OH 536. This was rural Ohio at its most beautiful and charming. The gentle hills were partly cultivated, partly forested, dotted with old barns, grazing cattle, and small churches. The road stays pretty high, so we were constantly looking out from ridges over sprawling rural vistas.

After spending the night in New Martinsville (and spending plenty of time in the hotel pool) we headed to Blackwater Canyon. This is where we met the mysterious mountains and lonely back roads of West Virginia for the first time. Blackwater Canyon, we discovered, is a really fun area, with plenty of hiking (much of it suitable for kids), sightseeing, and exploring. The kids enjoyed climbing the various boulders. Stephen became obsessed with waterfalls and cried whenever we would have to leave one. Blackwater Canyon is one of the great gems of the Eastern U.S. landscape, we've decided. Also fun is the nearby town of Davis, West Virginia, which we've heard described as "hip-billy," a fitting description. Davis was a great mix of idiosyncratic eateries (like the Hellbender Burrito place we enjoyed), art galleries, and customary West Virginia ramshackle.

Pictures below:

Captain Andrew

On the Valley Gem, touring the Ohio River

Along the Covered Bridges Byway

Blackwater Lodge

Blackwater Falls (60 feet tall)

Blackwater Canyon (from Pendleton Point)

Elakala Falls

Armed and dangerous

Blackwater Canyon, South End (from Lindy Point)

Rock Climbing, kid style

Agenda for Father's Day [Bryan]

Ellie asked me the other day what I wanted for Father's Day and I basically said that I wanted to have a serious day of grilling. This required (a) buying a new grill and associated implements, and (b) researching the recipes I wanted to master. As you probably know, there is a great debate in the grilling world between gas and charcoal. I went with the charcoal grill. It is true that gas is easier and more convenient. For me, however, grilling is not about convenience or doing something quickly. No, not at all. Rather, it is about taking things slow, making an afternoon of it, and getting the smoke and heat just right. If I want convenience, I figure I can always pull out the George Foreman.

As far as the recipes go, here is what is on the menu for tomorrow (note that our semi-vegetarianism is out the window on Father's Day, as it is, frankly, on most weekends). I've never really grilled ribs before, so that is the main item featured.

1. Gaucho Beef Ribs
2. Steven Raichlen's "First Timer's Ribs"
3. Smoky Grilled Corn with Parmesan Butter
3. Rolls with Raspberry Butter
4. Bacon, Strawberry, and bleu cheese salad
5. Nanaimo bars for desert

About Andrew [Ellie]

One of my first blog posts about 4 years ago was all about Nora. I waxed poetic about what a sweet girl she was, described magical moments with her, pondered her future with excitement and trepidation. As soon as I posted it I knew I needed to post about Andrew. So, in the back of my mind for the past four years, ideas for an Andrew post have been rattling around.



Here's the thing: maybe because of her gender, maybe because she has a generally happier disposition, it has always been easier for me to get along with Nora. Not counting a few months when she was 3, she has not resisted my imprint on her. With just Nora as evidence, I considered myself a good mother.

Andrew, on the other hand, almost immediately challenged my image of myself as a mother. He stopped sleeping through the night around 6 months old when he started to be plagued by ear infections. He cried a lot and was easily frustrated. He hit, pinched, bit, threw toys, and didn't share regardless of the number of time outs I imposed. Where Nora had required almost no parenting to manage her behavior, Andrew didn't even seem to respond when I pulled out every trick I could imagine. I dug into parenting books for more ideas, and for a while even those seemed ineffectual.

These struggles filled my mind as I tried to think of what to write about Andrew. How could I write a post about our challenging relationship? Didn't a post about Andrew need to be every bit as glowing as one about Nora?

Enter four simple ideas, from three different parenting books:
1. Stop comparing your children. They are distinct individuals. (Siblings without Rivalry, Faber and Mazlish)
2. Think about how your personality matches with your child's. (Raising Your Spirited Child, Kurcinka)
3. Use the positive terms for your child's personality traits--your child is persistent rather than stubborn. (Kurcincka)
4. Listen to your children and try to understand how they're feeling. Don't tell them not to feel it. (How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk, Faber and Mazlish)

As intuitive as these ideas sound, they had a great impact on me. I realized that Andrew had to struggle with aspects of his personality that Nora didn't have to struggle with. Comparing their behaviors wasn't fair. I realized how similar Andrew and I are. We both feel emotions deeply and have to deal with those strong emotions. I recognized Andrew's positive traits--his strong emotions make him a very loving and enthusiastic child, too. My eyes were opened to how often I told Andrew (and Nora) not to feel what they were feeling. As I tried to listen first, they both started to confide in me as they hadn't before.


A breakthrough moment for me in my relationship with Andrew came--unexpectedly--last month as we were watching A Series of Unfortunate Events. The narrator was saying something dry and insightful about how adults never listen to children. Andrew looked up at me and said, "But you listen to me, Mom!" I felt like crying with relief. Yes, sweetheart. I'm trying really hard to listen to you.




Andrew and I still have our ups and downs. Just last night we had a bad down. But I am learning to see and admire the many great things about Andrew.

*I love how eager he is to learn. I remember realizing when he was two that he knew most of the letters of the alphabet, just by hearing me practice them with Nora. He has surprised his teachers by using words like "orbit" and "narrator."

*I love how affectionate he is. He really wants to be held and cuddled. He tells me he loves me.

*He gets really excited about things. A father on his soccer team calls him the Dancing Goalie because when the ball comes toward him, he starts jumping with the thrill that he will get to save the ball.

*He's a whiz at building things. Since he got his Lego set for Christmas, he's figured out to build almost every sort of vehicle there is.

*He has a real desire to be good. He understands rules and why to follow them. He behaves well in preschool and Primary. He is very willing to help me whenever I ask.

Our relationship is not easy, but in learning to understand him, I have come to understand more about myself. Parenting Andrew has made me learn and grow. As he learns to control how he reacts to his strong emotions, I feel so close to him. One more story shows how.

It was the witching hour. I was cooking dinner and all three kids were grumpy and so was I. Everyone was whining. I was stirring dinner with unnecessary roughness. The last straw came when Andrew stepped on one of his toy cars and started howling.

"That's what you happens when you leave toys out on the floor!" I snapped unsympathetically.

Andrew flopped on the couch and cried.

A few minutes later I sensed him next to me and braced myself for his anger.

"I decided to calm myself down, Mom," he said. He gave me a hug and went back to living room to play.

I felt all the tension pour out of me. Somehow the whole evening looked different now.

Andrew is becoming an example to me.

Glad he's gone [Bryan]

I didn't feel any sense of elation at the death of Bin Laden, but I'm glad he is gone. I'm glad he's gone because he was one of history's greatest monsters, that much is obvious. Images of 9/11 are still burned into my memory. I still remember watching the pain in the face of a teenage girl, holding up a picture of her mother who was in World Trade Center, pleading for help.

But I'm also glad that we, as Americans, don't have Bin Laden as an excuse to do stupid things anymore. Here is hoping that, with his death, we return to some semblance of sanity. Too much has happened since 9/11, too much hysteria and darkness on our part, to be elelated. Hopefully the way Bin Laden changed us, the way he turned us into a fearful and cowering nation, ready to sweep under the carpet many of our most important principles, can be reversed over time. Here's hoping.

Saved by forgiveness [Bryan]

Words of wisdom from Reinhold Niebuhr:

Nothing that is worth doing can be achieved in our lifetime; therefore we must be saved by hope. Nothing which is true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history; therefore we must be saved by faith. Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore we are saved by love. No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as it is from our standpoint. Therefore we must be saved by the final form of love which is forgiveness.