Cruel Paradoxes of Parenting [Bryan]

Parenting is full of contradictions. On the one hand, you want your children to grow up, becoming more independent, maturing, developing their personalities, their confidence growing and horizons expanding, testing themselves against the world. On the other hand, you treasure those little hands, those eyes who see in you ultimate wisdom and protection, who see you as ultimate playmate, who beam with joy and laughter when you come home from work. I have never known a relationship as intimate as I have with my children. I have watched them every step of their lives, and there is little, if anything, I don't know about them.

And yet, this will all change. And it is my job to make it change, to turn my little ones into people that I might only see once or twice or year (as I see my parents), or talk to on the telephone every now and then. In some ways, I can't wait for them to grow up; in other ways, I can't imagine anything more dreadful.

And Michael Gerson writes today, "So this is the independence we seek for our children -- to turn our closest relationships into acquaintances. Of course, I knew this getting into parenthood. But the reality remains shocking. For a time, small hands take your own -- children look upward, and you fill their entire universe. They remain, to you, the most important things in the world. To them, over time, you become one important thing among many. And then an occasional visit or phone call. And then a memory, fond or otherwise."