Star Gazing [Bryan]

Last night was an amazing night. Generally, the Midwest is a terrible place to stargaze. The humidity makes the sky hazy and the dense population means that city light is bouncing off that haze. The elevation is relatively low, so you have a lot more atmosphere to peer through. Even on the best nights, you can only see a couple of dozen stars in the sky. Moreover, the sky is usually cloudy so those good nights are rare. It is very different from the dry, high, clear, light-free sky of the Mountain West where I grew up. (For the best star gazing in the US, go to Lake Powell, Utah. There, the Milky Way shines like, well, milk, splattered across the sky.)

Last night was different, though, here in Ohio. The air was still and clear. The stars were bright. Planets were high in the sky. Orion was to the south and the Big Dipper to the north. And there was a full lunar eclipse! From eight to midnight the moon went from its usual bright white, to a pink, to a dark red, and then back again. I broke out my little two inch telescope and watched the whole thing. I was able to see the rings of Saturn, which was hovering close to the moon. I also got a great view of Great Orion Nebula right in the middle of Orion constellation. Things were so clear I could use my stronger eyepiece, which usually doesn't work very well because of atmospheric turbulence. I was in ecstasy for hours.

The problem was, I was alone for most the night. Ellie had gone to a meeting. I tried to go in a wake up Nora. I turned on her light, shook her, and yelled at her, but she refused to wake up. So I guess I'm stuck with blogging about it. It was a magical night in the skies above Columbus -- one that won't come again very soon. I wish you were all there to see it. It was really cold, though, and I wouldn't have wanted to hear any whining!

Cookies! [Bryan]

Follow the link to a nice little essay about one of my favorite foods:

"The Chocolate Chip Cookie, when executed properly, is one of few very foods in the world capable of producing happiness."

Well said!

Best music video of the 1980s [Bryan]

Seiji Ozawa and the Berlin Philharmonic do a selection from one of my favorite pieces of 20th century orchestration: Orff's Carmina Burana. This is the "Cours' de'amours" section. One of my dreams in life is to see this complex piece performed lived.

The Decline and Fall of Mitt Romney [Bryan]

If you read this blog with any regularity, you know that I've been pretty tough on Mitt Romney. I did not really rejoice, though, when I saw that he had suspended his race. For all his apparent faults, he was probably the best Republican candidate out there. I believe that, at bottom, he is a decent -- if somewhat shallow -- man and that he would have run a competent, drama-free White House. I hope that next time he runs, he figures out that his strength is as a technocratic centrist manager, and not a fire-breathing right winger. He would have been a much more compelling candidate had he not tried to get cozy with the evangelicals, the neoconservatives, and the unitary executivists.

Hearing his final speech, however, I worry that he has not really learned this lesson. He said, for example: "If I fight on in my campaign, all the way to the convention, I would forestall the launch of a national campaign and make it more likely that Sens. Clinton or Obama would win. And in this time of war, I simply cannot let my campaign, be a part of aiding a surrender to terror." So electing a Democratic is surrendering to terror? Sheez, Mitt. Harping on national fear and division is not the way to become a real leader.

I think Romney's decline holds certain lessons for us Mormons. I think it is undeniable the Romney's religion played a part in his lack of success among conservative voters. It wasn't the only factor, to be sure, but it was one factor.

Here is one message we Mormons should take: The Religious Right is not our friend. The fear, animosity, and rancor they display toward secularists, Muslims, gays, evolutionists, feminists, pacifists, liberals, immigrants, and so forth, are also often aimed squarely at Mormons. If they are our bedfellows on political issues, perhaps we may want to rethink the company we keep.

At the same time, the secular left revealed its own shortcomings. I saw Romney's religious beliefs ridiculed in many of the left-leaning blogs I frequent. Now, I do believe that there are parts of Mormon history and contemporary practice that deserve sustained criticism (Mountain Meadows, the Priesthood ban, overwhelming Mormon support for wars, and so forth). Much of the criticism I saw was uninformed, however, or presented in the most unsympathetic way possible. I would have expected better from them.

Part of the problem here, though, is that we Mormons on the whole are often not very thoughtful about our religious beliefs. We think there are easy answers to every question. We do not study our religion deeply and, by policy, keep everything at its most simple (simplistic?) level. We are afraid of doubters and questioners. We do not think very much about how our religion should coexist with other religious groups (or nonreligious groups) that all disagree vehemently about basic moral issues. Among ourselves, we think we are hot stuff and we love the way many of our stories and theologies make us different. Yet, at the same time, we get offended when people call us out on this and claim that we actually are different, mysterious, secretive, odd, or non-Christian. We celebrate our differences in private, but seem embarrassed by them in public. I think some nonmembers sense this disconnect, and I can't really blame them for not trusting us because of it.

My advice to Mormons: We should learn to be less defensive about our differences, but also learn to defend them in sophisticated ways. For example, some Mormon leaders have indeed taught that "Jesus and Satan are brothers" (in some sense) just as Mike Huckabee said. How can we turn this shocking statement into a compelling narrative about our belief in the power of freedom and agency, rather than denying it, dismissing it as only a "minor doctrine," or affirming it without an accompanying interpretive framework that gives it power and meaning? We have a lot of work to do if we want people to take Mormonism seriously. Right now, we as a people are a mirror image of Romney -- nice, clean cut, and competent, but also image-obsessed and shallow.

Why Obama?

In a few days, Ellie and I will cast our ballot by mail for Barack Obama in the Ohio Democratic presidential primary. I know some of you out there will be able to vote soon on "Super Tuesday," so I thought it would be an appropriate time to write about this. Obama is the first politician we have ever given money to. Why do we like Barack so much?

I can't speak for Ellie, but here are my thoughts. I first heard Obama speak when I was a graduate student at the University of Illinois. I brushed shoulders with him briefly. He was surrounded by reporters talking about farm policy, and I stood with the reporters listening to him speak. He seemed articulate and sincere, and I decided to vote for him in his Senate race. At that time, I didn't know anything about his life and only a little about his policy inclinations. As I've learned more about him, my respect has only increased.

Obama's personal biography is impressive. His father left him at an early age and his mother moved the family to Indonesia, where Obama experienced relative poverty (they didn't have a refrigerator, for instance). He also learned what it was like outside the U.S.A., in a very intimate way, by attending the local schools in Jakarta. He returned to the States, eventually graduating from Columbia University and Harvard Law School (he graduated magna cum laude and was the first Black editor of the Harvard Law Review). After that, instead of going to a powerful law firm where he could have made big money, he used his talents as a community organizer in Chicago and, by all accounts, did some really good things there. What I like about all this is simple: He has first hand experience with real life in a way that the other presidential contenders do not have. People question his "experience," but I think he has the sort of real experience that really matters.

His character and thoughtfulness are praised by people everywhere, even if they don't agree with his policies. He is not afraid to talk to people who disagree with him -- at the University of Chicago, where he taught, he was famous for respectfully engaging with people across the political spectrum. I've pasted below some of what people say about Obama. I've tried to list conservatives here, so you know this isn't just Democratic hype. Here is conservative writer Dean Barnett who went out and tried to dig up some dirt on Obama:

MY PREVIOUS PROFESSIONAL life, I had reason to be in contact with dozens of Barack Obama's classmates at Harvard Law School. When he entered the presidential race, I dusted off my Rolodex and began making some calls to get the off-the-record skinny on the Democrats' potential savior.

The results surprised me. Regardless of his classmates' politics, they all said pretty much the same thing. They adored him. The only thing that varied was the intensity with which they adored him. Some spoke like they were eager to bear his children. And those were the guys. Others merely professed a profound fondness and respect for their former classmate. Even more interesting was what wasn't said. In dozens of conversations, not a single person said anything negative about him, and some were hardly the senator's political fellow travelers. Also noteworthy is that virtually everyone seemed to know Obama. Usually people who have such a high profile on law school campuses have their detractors. Obama apparently didn't....

[His academic success], along with his presidency of the Law Review, makes his uniform popularity all the more impressive. Law schools are intensely competitive places. People who thrive to an unseemly extent, as Obama did, are usually subject to an array of resentments. After all, the lawyers of tomorrow populate law schools; pettiness and insecurity reign supreme. The people that Obama so thoroughly charmed generally weren't the charm-prone types. I say the following as a well known Republican partisan--the fact that his classmates so universally held him in the highest regard suggests that Barack Obama may truly be a special person.

Consider also what conservative commentator Peggy Noonan had to say about him. Noonan is no fan of Obama's policies, I imagine, but even she can sense the difference:

Barack Obama has a great thinking look. I mean the look he gets on his face when he's thinking, not the look he presents in debate, where they all control their faces knowing they may be in the reaction shot and fearing they'll look shrewd and clever, as opposed to open and strong. I mean the look he gets in an interview or conversation when he's listening and not conscious of his expression. It's a very present look. He seems more in the moment than handling the moment. I've noticed this the past few months, since he entered the national stage. I wonder if I'm watching him more closely than his fellow Democrats are.

Mr. Obama often seems to be thinking when he speaks, too, and this comes somehow as a relief, in comparison, say, to Hillary Clinton and President Bush, both of whom often seem to be trying to remember the answer they'd agreed upon with staff.

You get the impression Mr. Obama trusts himself to think, as if something good might happen if he does. What a concept. Anyway, I've started to lean forward a little when he talks.

More than his personal character, I think Obama he can help rectify what, for me, was the unforgivable sin of the Bush administration. After 9/11, Americans were ready to do something -- to do anything -- to come together to help solve our country's problem. We were dependent on oil, our foreign policy wasn't what it should have been, and we as a people had become materialistic and shallow. In such an environment, Bush did the absolutely unforgivable. He and Karl Rove turned 9/11 into a partisan weapon. Senators who wanted worker protections in the new Department of Home Land Security were said to be working with Osama Bin Laden. Presidential hopefuls were accused of being in league with Al Quaeda. Instead of asking for sacrifice, Bush asked us to go shopping. What could have been a key moment for lasting change was lost. American is now widely mistrusted around the world.

Obama can help solve these problems. He really does bring people together. I went to a campaign event in October and what impressed me most was the variety of people who were there. There were blacks, whites, Latinos, Asians. There were young people and old people, men and women. There were people who looked like professionals and those that looked like farmers. I challenge you to go to any other candidate's campaign event. You won't see anything like this. With respect to the international community, people outside of the United State really seem to respect and admire him. Here I am thinking of his recent trip to Africa, where he received a hero's welcome.


What American needs, more than anything else, is to restore the world's respect for America. Only then, will we be able to solve the big problems we are facing, like terrorism. Having Obama as president would do wonders for American credibility abroad.

And just briefly: Obama's policy positions are exciting. He has proposed a meaningful healthcare plan that has drawn praise from a wide variety of circles (it is, in many ways, similar to Mitt Romney's -- I just wish it had a universal mandate, but that is a different story). His energy plan is also widely praised and will actually do something to overcome our addiction to oil. And so forth. Frankly, I just wish he was a little more to the left!

Even if you are Republican, and you are in a state with an open primary, I urge you to vote in the Democratic primary for Obama. Here are some highlights from Obama. Follow your goosebumps!



Worried that Obama is a secret Muslim? See here. Worried about the Rezko business? See here.

Ah yeah -- Men at Work [Bryan]

More from the 1980s:

Separating myths from facts [Bryan]

Myth: Bryan used to wear sweatpants and loafers to high school.
Fact: Not true. Bryan never wore sweatpants to school, or loafers for that matter. He always wore a t-shirt, jeans, and sneakers.

Myth: On a family trip to Yellowstone, Bryan got lost in the woods.
Fact: Not true. Bryan was out exploring and lost track of time.

Myth: Bryan asked out Ellie by note for their first date.
Fact: Okay, this one is true. But it is not as bad as it sounds.

Myth: Bryan is an excellent basketball player.
Fact: Bryan has only a decent game, with a good outside jumper and dangerous penetration ability. He plays fairly good defense, but has almost never been known to grab a rebound. He has been known to shoot too much.

Myth: Bryan used to be a young Republican.
Fact: He was on their mailing list but never did, in fact, join.

Myth: Bryan only wears bow ties.
Fact: Bryan usually wears bow ties, but, being wild and crazy, will throw on a regular necktie now and then. In that sense, he is not a "true" bow tie wearer

Myth: Bryan once bought a Yanni CD and a Metallica CD at the same time.
Fact: Again, this is true.

Myth: Bryan is only interested in stuffy, academic stuff.
Fact: Bryan actually has quite rugged, masculine interests: backpacking, fishing, sports, and so forth.

Myth: Bryan recently acquired a tattoo.
Fact: No comment.

Myth: Bryan used to listen to rap.
Fact: This also is true, although he rarely slips in NWA or Public Enemy these days (Ellie is not a fan).

A Story by Nora [Nora]

Wonderland

By Nora Warnick

Once upon a time, Alice wanted to go for a walk in the woods to catch a bunny.

Alice and her sister caught the bunny. Then they bought some clothes at the store.

The bunny ran away again, and Alice caught it in the forest.

The bunny ran away again, and Alice tried to catch it, but...Oops! What a mess! What a splash! Alice and the bunny fell down a waterfall. Alice felt sick and couldn't get out of the water. She was very, very sick.

Prince James came to save her just in time! He saved the rabbit, too. The rabbit went back to its hole vary fast. The rabbit said, "I'm not doing that again! That was crazy!"

Prince James brought Alice to the palace. The Queen said, "Put her on a bed so she can feel better!"

Prince James whispered to weak Alice, "It's all right now; you're in the castle. The kingdom is always safe."

The next morning Prince James kneeled down and kissed the sleeping Alice. She woke up and she felt better.

The next day they got married. They had a wonderful day.

The End.

[Father's note: Although this may seem like a simple, sentimental romance, it is really filled with postmodern feminist irony. The elusive nature of the rabbit calls into question larger cultural meta-narratives. Alice's identity, based in shopping and longing for a husband, is challenged by the trickster rabbit. Its elusive presence testifies to the transience of consumerism and romantic love. In escaping the clutches of Alice, the rabbit's statements of relief are a warning about the dangers inherent in post-industrial capitalism, together with the the false consciousness of feminine emotive expression it embodies. The prince, the masculine hero embodying the myth of male self-sufficiency, looks for guidance from the queen as he brings home Alice, signifying that masculine power is inherently deconstructive.]

A Criminal with Strange Tastes [Bryan]

When Ellie and I were first married, we were living in a small apartment just off State Street in Salt Lake City, Utah. We were poor, but happy. The area was prone to car break ins. Since Ellie and I didn't have much of value, we decided to leave our car doors unlocked. We figured it would better to let people easily open our car doors and search around for stuff than to have them break out the windows (which happened quite often in that neighborhood).

Our strategy worked! On a number of occasions, we could tell our car had been searched for valuables. Our tapes would be spread across the seat, for example, and the ash tray would be open. But nothing would ever be stolen. Apparently thieves weren't interested in broken cassette tape players and old Simon and Garfunkel albums. We took a grim satisfaction in the thought of a thief rifling through our music, only to be thwarted by our divergent musical tastes.

Now, fast forward to 2008. Bryan is driving a junky, rusted-out car to work. He parks, again, in an area prone to car break ins. He leaves his doors unlocked and never leaves anything anybody would ever want in the car -- just a bunch of unattractive cassette tapes. Does Bryan outwit the thieves?

No! Bryan comes back to his car one day and finds his car cleaned out of cassette tapes. Everything is gone, including one of Bryan's prized Christmas presents, a lecture series dealing with U.S. Middle East foreign policy from 1914-2001.

What kind of a weird thief would steal such a thing? One with a particular interest in the Eisenhower Doctrine? A fascination with the two-state solution? A proclivity for the details of the fall of the Ottoman Empire?

I can only imagine our thief trying to trade the tapes for drugs. "Dude, you gotta here this guy talk about the Seven Day War, man, and Johnson's attempt to pressure Nassarist Arab Nationalism. Its gotta be worth a couple kilos, man!"

I suppose he could sell my beloved tapes to a used bookstore for a few bucks, maybe. But it is one of those things where the worth to me is much more than the worth to him. It is like when I was mugged in Buenos Aires and they ripped the thick prescription lenses off my face. Come on, guys! If you are going to steal from me, at least take something valuable.

Music Bryan is listening to [Bryan]

Well, now that Christmas and my birthday have passed, I can sit back an absorb some of the new music I received. I don't have time to write extended reviews, but all three of my new albums are superb.

First, Andrew Bird's new album Armchair Apocrypha. Excellent rock/atmospheric/Eastern mix, with some great whistling thrown in for good measure!

Second, Picaresque by the Decembrists. This is now officially my second favorite Decembrists album. They are master-storytellers masquerading as musicians.

Finally, the new New Pornographers album, Challengers. Good stuff!

Our Cute Kids [Bryan]

Our kids said a couple of interesting things today.

First, after eating a large spoonful of ice cream today, Andrew starting crying. I asked him what was wrong and he said, "Ice cream hurt me." I guess that was his first experience with "brain freeze."


Second, Nora was in church today and a church lady asked: "Does anyone know where we are today?" Nora raised her hand and said, "In Jesus's castle." I think she may be watching too many Disney shows.

Worst video of the 1980s?

A fun song, but what's up with the dancing jester dwarf?

Why I worry about Mitt Romney [Bryan]

A long, boring, politically-oriented post below. Reader beware!

Anyway, a reporter recently asked Mitt Romney and the other presidential candidates about the limits of presidential power. From what I can tell, Romney does not recognize ANY limits of presidential power. This is all very disturbing to me. I'll just add this to my list of reasons of why I'm not a supporter of Mitt Romney.

Below are the questions (in bold), Romney's answers, and my commentary (in italics). For comparison purposes, I have listed the responses of Barack Obama to the same questions. Obama here seems much more specific, informed, and takes a more principled stand for the rule of law.

1. Does the president have inherent powers under the Constitution to conduct surveillance for national security purposes without judicial warrants, regardless of federal statutes?

MR: ntelligence and surveillance have proven to be some of the most effective national security tools we have to protect our nation. Our most basic civil liberty is the right to be kept alive and the President should not hesitate to use every legal tool at his disposal to keep America safe.

BW: Romney thinks that the government can wiretap U.S. citizens without any sort of judicial oversight.

BO:The Supreme Court has never held that the president has such powers. As president, I will follow existing law, and when it comes to U.S. citizens and residents, I will only authorize surveillance for national security purposes consistent with FISA and other federal statutes.

2. In what circumstances, if any, would the president have constitutional authority to bomb Iran without seeking a use-of-force authorization from Congress?

MR: A President must always act in the best interests of the United States to protect us against a potential threat, including a nuclear Iran. Naturally, it is always preferable to seek agreement of all – leadership of our government as well as our friends around the world – where those circumstances are available.

BW: Romney, it seems, thinks the president does not really need any Congressional authorization to start a war.

BO: The President does not have power under the Constitution to unilaterally authorize a military attack in a situation that does not involve stopping an actual or imminent threat to the nation.....

3. Does the Constitution empower the president to disregard a congressional statute limiting the deployment of troops -- either by capping the number of troops that may be deployed to a particular country or by setting minimum home-stays between deployments? In other words, is that level of deployment management beyond the constitutional power of Congress to regulate?

MR: The founders created a constitutional system in which the war power was divided between the President and Congress. A President must respect the constitutional design while at the same time remain faithful to commander-in-chief powers and obligations to keep this country safe.

BW: Again, no congressional oversight. In this case, over anything having to do with military affairs.

BO: No, the President does not have that power. To date, several Congresses have imposed limitations on the number of US troops deployed in a given situation. As President, I will not assert a constitutional authority to deploy troops in a manner contrary to an express limit imposed by Congress and adopted into law.

4. Under what circumstances, if any, would you sign a bill into law but also issue a signing statement reserving a constitutional right to bypass the law?

MR: I share the view of many past presidents that signing statements are an important presidential practice.

BW: Romney's answer here is vague and evasive. In what way will he use signing statements? Can the president modify congressional legislation to suit his whims?

BO: Signing statements have been used by presidents of both parties, dating back to Andrew Jackson. While it is legitimate for a president to issue a signing statement to clarify his understanding of ambiguous provisions of statutes and to explain his view of how he intends to faithfully execute the law, it is a clear abuse of power to use such statements as a license to evade laws that the president does not like or as an end-run around provisions designed to foster accountability.....

5. Does the Constitution permit a president to detain US citizens without charges as unlawful enemy combatants?

MR: All US citizens are entitled to due process, including at least some type of habeas corpus relief regardless whether they are designated unlawful enemy combatants or not.

BW: So, U.S. citizens only get "some" habeas protection -- not sure what that means.

BO: No. I reject the Bush Administration's claim that the President has plenary authority under the Constitution to detain U.S. citizens without charges as unlawful enemy combatants.

6. Does executive privilege cover testimony or documents about decision-making within the executive branch not involving confidential advice communicated to the president himself?

MR: Courts have recognized that there is a valid need for protecting communications among high government officials and those who advise and assist them. Before invoking the privilege, a President should carefully weigh, among other factors, the interest in disclosure and the interest in preserving the confidentiality of deliberations and advice in the Executive Branch. As an institutional matter, the President must also protect the prerogatives of his Office for future presidents.

BW: U.S. presidents, it seems, don't have to reveal who they talk to or for what reason. Does he realize that the president works for the people, rather than the other way around? The people need the tools to check up on how the president in doing. It is this that deserves protection, not "the prerogatives of his office." For what its worth, Obama on this point isn't much better.

BO: With respect to the “core” of executive privilege, the Supreme Court has not resolved this question, and reasonable people have debated it. My view is that executive privilege generally depends on the involvement of the President and the White House.

7. If Congress defines a specific interrogation technique as prohibited under all circumstances, does the president's authority as commander in chief ever permit him to instruct his subordinates to employ that technique despite the statute?

MR: A President should decline to reveal the method and duration of interrogation techniques to be used against high value terrorists who are likely to have counter-interrogation training. This discretion should extend to declining to provide an opinion as to whether Congress may validly limit his power as to the use of a particular technique, especially given Congress’s current plans to try to do exactly that.

BW: So, if a president wants to torture, there is nothing anybody can do about it. A president does not even have to answer questions about it.

BO: No. The President is not above the law, and the Commander-in-Chief power does not entitle him to use techniques that Congress has specifically banned as torture. We must send a message to the world that America is a nation of laws, and a nation that stands against torture. As President I will abide by statutory prohibitions, and have the Army Field Manual govern interrogation techniques for all United States Government personnel and contractors.

8. Under what circumstances, if any, is the president, when operating overseas as commander-in-chief, free to disregard international human rights treaties that the US Senate has ratified?

MR: The President must carry out all of his duties in a manner consistent with the rule of law, whether it is our Constitution or valid international agreements, so long as they do not impinge upon the President’s constitutional authority.

BW: So, a president doesn't have to honor treaties if they conflict with his or her view of presidential power. But look at the vast sweep of authority Romney is claiming here. Virtually any treaty would conflict with this conception of executive power!

BO: It is illegal and unwise for the President to disregard international human rights treaties that have been ratified by the United States Senate, including and especially the Geneva Conventions. The Commander-in-Chief power does not allow the President to defy those treaties.

9. Do you agree or disagree with the statement made by former Attorney General Gonzales in January 2007 that nothing in the Constitution confers an affirmative right to habeas corpus, separate from any statutory habeas rights Congress might grant or take away?

MR: The availability and limitation of habeas corpus is governed by current federal statutory law and the Suspension Clause of the US Constitution, Article I, § 9, cl. 2.

BW: The constitution says clearly, "The privilege of the Writ of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless when in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion the public Safety may require it." If this is not the language of an "affirmative right," I don't know what is.

BO: Disagree strongly.

10. Is there any executive power the Bush administration has claimed or exercised that you think is unconstitutional? Anything you think is simply a bad idea?

The Bush Administration has kept the American people safe since 9/11. The Administration’s strong view on executive power may well have contributed to that fact.

BW: Ben Franklin: "Those who would give up essential liberty to purchase a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."

BO: First and foremost, I agree with the Supreme Court's several decisions rejecting the extreme arguments of the Bush Administration, most importantly in the Hamdi and Hamdan cases. I also reject the view, suggested in memoranda by the Department of Justice, that the President may do whatever he deems necessary to protect national security, and that he may torture people in defiance of congressional enactments. In my view, torture is unconstitutional, and certain enhanced interrogation techniques like “waterboarding” clearly constitute torture....

A handout I'm proud of [Bryan]

Here is a handout I made for a Christmas class I taught in church yesterday.

I. Greek Vocabulary:

1. Katalumati -- (Luke 2:7): KJV translates as “inn” in KJV; should probably be translated “guest room,” “upper room,” or “encampment.” Thus, phrase might be better translated "because there was no space for them in the room.” JST makes this plural: “inns.” Notice there is no mention of an "innkeeper" who turns Joseph away!
2. Eudokias -- (Luke 2:14): KLV translates “of good will” – KJV reads “Peace on earth and good will toward men (eudokia)”; should probably read “Peace on earth among men of good will (eudokias)”
3. Paraklesiv -- (Luke 2:25): KJV translates “consolation.” Closely related to the word for “comforter.” Literally has to do with “calling out” or “exhorting.”
4. Tois tou patros -- (Luke 2:49) – KJV translates as “about my father’s business”; could also be translated “in my father’s house.”
5. Magoi -- (Matt 2:1) – Priestly class among the Persians? (Herodotus) Priests of Zoroastrian religion? Babylonian astronomers? Jews from Babylon?
6. Tektone -- (Matt 13:55). KJV translates as “carpenter.” Could also be a “builder” or a “stonemason.” Early Christian traditions say that Joseph was a homebuilder or a plow-maker.

II. Differences between Luke and Matthews account of the nativity.

1. No mention in Matthew of shepherds, angels, mangers, etc. No mention in Luke of majoi, Herod, or Jesus’ presentation in the temple.
2. Matthew focuses on the role of Joseph., Luke of Mary.
3. Matthew focuses on Jewishness of Jesus; Luke on the humanness of Jesus – Jesus as prophet.
4. Matthew does not mention Joseph being from Nazareth (Joseph could have been from Bethlehem; inn = guest room among relatives?)

III. Parallels between Jesus and Moses as formulated in the Gospel of Matthew:

1. Attempts to kill children by Pharaoh and Herod.
2. Events take place in Egypt.
3. Moses wrote five books; Jesus gives five great sermons.
4. Mount Sinai and Mount of transfiguration.
5. Confrontations with Satan.

IV. Events of Jesus’ early life focused on the temple in Lucan account.

1. Zacharias incident took place in temple.
2. Jesus’ calling confirmed twice in the temple (Simeon, Anna).
3. Jesus taught the priests (says he is to be found “in his father’s house”)
4. Luke also ends his gospel with disciples gathered in temple.
   

V. Genealogies of Jesus (Matt 1:1-16, Luke 3: 23-38)

1. Mattean account begins with “Abraham” and emphasizes “David.” For Matthew, again, Jesus is Jewish Messaiah.
2. Lucan account begins with “Adam.” Jesus belongs to universal human family?
3. Mattean account contains four “infamous” women (Tamar, Ruth, Racab, Bathsheba).
4. Mattean genealogy has 14 generations between each “big” historical event (14 in gematria = “David”). Note: Matthew takes some literary license here to make the generations come to 14.
5. Luke and Matthew have very different genealogies for Joseph. Why? For what its worth, this did not seem to be an issue for the early church, with apologetic discussions of the issue appearing only much later (5^th century BCE).

VI. Poetry of Praise in Lucan narratives.

1. Mary’s famous Magnificant (Luke 1:46-55) contains themes of God exalting the humble and God protecting the weak. This comes right after Elizabeth’s confirmation of Mary’s miraculous conception.
2. Simeon (Luke 2: 29-35) uses the theme of God as a salvific force.
3. Mary's poem parallels the psalm of Hannah in 1 Sam. 2.

IV. Some discussion questions:

1. The birth stories are very different. Why?
2. Matthew focuses on the visit of the magoi to the exclusion of everything else. Why does he do this? What message was he trying to get across? Could his parallel with Moses be an answer?
3. Luke says that the angels announced the birth of Jesus first to lowly shepherds. Why is this significant? Why not to others?
4. According to the earliest manuscripts, the angels greet the shepherds by saying “Peace on earth to men of good will” instead of “Peace on earth good will to men.” How does this change the message of angels?
5. Why did Luke show the Jesus’ early life was so focused on the temple?
6. What image does Luke give of Jesus as a boy? Why does he want to present this image?
7. Why does Matthew begin his genealogy and Luke with Adam? What different emphases does this imply?
8. Why does Matthew include the "infamous" women rather than, say, Sarah or Rachael?
9. What themes do you see in Mary's Magnificant? Why might she had this in mind? What about Simeon?
   
10. Why does Mary's poem parallel Hannah's?
    

(In writing this, I used stuff from Bart Ehrman, Jim Falcouner, and Jesus Christ and the World of the New Testament, among other sources I can't remember now.)

Living in the Chirstmas Present [Bryan]

Christmas "presents" are hard to appreciate. I've found that, for me, it is tempting to live Christmas in the past tense rather than in the present. Growing up, Christmas was the best time of the year. It was pretty much the only time that my parents purchased toys (that and our birthdays, of course). The whole Santa Claus deception made the December air tingle with mystery and excitement. Even after the demise of Santa, that same feeling of electricity remained as I would search the house to discover my hidden presents. I remember vividly every aspect of my childhood holidays: the TV specials, the school Christmas programs, the bustle of Fred Meyer department store, the eggnog, the Warnick extended family party, the decorations on the tree, the Christmas lights. I remember the stories we used to read as a family, particularly a story about children who trick their parents on Christmas Eve by turning the clocks ahead. I remember all our old family vinyl Christmas albums and the church Christmas parties. I remember driving to a needy person's house to secretly deliver toys and food. I was always the first one who was ready to start celebrating Christmas, usually around mid-November.

Additional memories were added as I grew older. In high school, Christmas meant band concerts, the beginnings of basketball season, and first adventures in love (alas, always unrequited). On my Mormon mission, Christmas meant the excitement of discovering foreign traditions (fireworks!), along with deeply spiritual moments of friendship and service -- moments when I proved to myself that Christmas could be much more than presents and decorations. Christmases in Champaign, Illinois, were marked by new friends and memorable participation in an extremely talented and dedicated church choir (if you don't know, I like to sing, in a pinched-and-faltering-bass kind of way).

With such poignant and powerful memories, it is hard not to try to spend my current Christmases trying to recreate those of my past. I often try to relive those past moments, but they never seem to be quite as powerful as I remember. Dickens had it right when he describes the spirits of Christmas as ghosts, fleeting, ephemeral, and appearing on their own timetable. The songs and Christmas TV specials, for example, are still loaded with memories. Yet, even as I recall how I once felt listening to them, I am aware that the current feeling does not match the past intensity. The disjunction between past memories and present emotions can feel a a bit troubling, as if suggesting that the best of life is behind me, never to return. But that feeling is, I hope, ridiculous.

It has slowly dawned on me over the years that, rather than trying to forever summon the ghosts of Christmas past, I need to raise a toast with the ghost of Christmas present. I need to deeply inhale the new memories swirling about my young family. Instead of feeling the mystery and excitement myself, I can appreciate it through the eyes of my children. The sights and sounds of Christmas, rather than existing in an unchanging past, should be forever supplemented with new experiences. Memory can serve to enrich the present, but it can also be a prison. Carpe Christmas diem!

Our First (Annual?) Christmas Progressive Dinner [Ellie]

Lately Bryan and I have been discussing our longing to recreate the Christmases of the past. Bryan invokes his childhood Christmases through buying the classic Christmas movies of his childhood--Charlie Brown's Christmas, Christmas on Sesame Street, Mr. Krueger's Christmas--and making our children watch them with him. . .sometimes against their wills. My longing this year took the form of wanting to host a progressive dinner. Now, I had never before been to a progressive dinner, much less hosted one. It was not my personal past I was plumbing, it was my parents'. I remember them, dressed up, bundled against the cold, heading out to their adults-only progressive dinners every Christmas. Their excitement was the more deeply imprinted on my mind because my parents were not party people when I was growing up. We never had their friends over for dinner. We never had their friends over, period. They never hosted a non-family party in all my years growing up, except for their part in these Christmas progressive dinners. So embedded deep down in my psyche was the desire to recreate their excitement, to own it for myself. To be one of the adults in "adults-only."

So I did it. And I dragged Bryan along with me. (He wasn't too hard to convince.) We finagled 7 other couples to participate, fast-talked three young women from the ward into watching our kids, and despite freakishly bad weather (snow, freezing rain, rain) we did indeed progress. We traveled from house to house sampling hors d'oeuvres, two different salads, homemade tomato soup, apple pork roast, napoleans and raspberry chocolate brownies, and ending with games at the last house. We had a wonderful time. The conversation was engaging and the food was to die for!

Thanks to all our friends who participated--they let me live the dream! We only hope they had as much fun as we did. For people who like to eat as much as Bryan and I, this just might become an annual tradition.

My favorite Christmas Songs [Bryan]

These aren't in any particular order. As you can see, I have a soft spot for choral music -- pretty much anything composed by John Rutter.

1. God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen (Bare Naked Ladies/Sarah McLachlan)
2. Christmas Night (John Rutter)
3. Veni Veni Emmanuel (Manheim Steamroller)
4. Peace on Earth (U2)
5. What Shall We Give to the Babe in the Manger? (Mormon Tab)
6. In Dulci Jubilo (John Rutter)
7. What Child is This? (Mormon Tab)
8. Pat a Pan (Manheim Steamroller)
9. He is born (Traditional French)
10. A La Nanita Nana (I don't know who composed this)
11. Christmas in Hollis (Run DMC)
12. Parson Brown (The New Christy Minstrels)
13. Once as I remember (John Rutter)

War on Christmas? [Bryan]

Every year at this time we hear about a "war on Christmas." Bless their hearts, our House of Representatives just passed a bill reaffirming the importance of Christmas. That's a relief -- no one seems to celebrate Christmas anymore. (I'm being sarcastic here.)

Of course, the reason why people are worried about Christmas is not that we Americans aren't celebrating it (we are, in record numbers). It is that people get mad when their school "Christmas Break" is renamed the "Winter Break." They get mad when a choral program contains seasonal music of other faiths, and not just the Christian tradition. The get upset when people say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas." I personally don't have a problem with any of this. Our schools and governments need to serve people from many different faith traditions, and I think it is good that they recognize that not everyone is a Christian.

But there IS a war on Christmas! The war on Christmas is not demonstrated, however, by a few Kwanzaa additions to a community choral program. The war on Christmas is shown as Christmas is turned into a month-long orgy of materialism. I guess we have the three wise men partly to blame for this, with their gold, frankincense and myrrh business. But it is now completely out of control. I was walking through Walmart three days before Halloween and the Christmas merchandise was already appearing, further emphasizing that the "true meaning" of Christmas is buying and selling. If you want to fight for Christmas, don't worry about the nerdy secularist and multiculturalists. Worry about the businessmen and consumerists!

(Of course, make sure you buy my present before you worry about them.)

My book cover [Bryan]

Well, there it is. Information about my book can be found here. It is starting to seem real.

Hits close to home (thanks Derek)

Thanksgiving [Bryan]

Well, we are thankful for having survived Thanksgiving this year. Last Tuesday we boarded an airplane (the wonderful Delta 4027 -- direct flight to SLC) and headed back to Utah. We hadn't been there more than a day when Andrew started to get sick. Really sick. Making-deathlike-coughing-sounds-at-night sick. Then Bryan got sick. Sinus-infection-so-bad-it-made-his-nose-continually-bleed sick. Then Nora fell sick. Then Ellie, last of all. After several trips to the doctor, and much worrying about insurance, we were feeling a bit better by the day we headed home.

Now, it is one thing to be sick at home, where you can mope around in your pajamas, be grumpy with your kids, or gaze at the television with a blank stare. It is another thing to be sick as a house guest. What can you do? Not leave your room? No, you've paid big money to come out and everyone has spent much toil and trouble to make your visit wonderful. So you blow your nose, clear your throat, medicate to the hilt, and try to be social. All the while, you suspect that your infection will soon be hitting the wonderful family who is hosting you. Not fun.

Now, having said that, we DID manage to have a good Thanksgiving. We visited with Ellie's folks on Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. Ellie's Mom made a scrumptious yam dish and their family, seeing our misery, even let us win at Settlers of Catan. The rest of our visit was spent with the Warnicks. My family had labored at yet another full Thanksgiving meal, with luscious turkey and my Grandma's famous chocolate cake. (Ellie thought the nut cups were impressive -- weird choice, but whatever.)

Many thanks to our families for being such wonderful, patient, and generous hosts. We hope you feel better soon -- it is a nasty bug isn't it? We love you guys very much.

Thanksgiving with the Merkleys.

Ellie's gingerbread house -- a Warnick tradition.

Dad Warnick took us to his lab for root beer floats -- another Warnick tradition.

That's a really good point

Via Brad Delong:

It is a strange fact about organisations that although we can put men on the moon and grow human ears on the backs of mice, there is no force on earth that can stop people from double-booking rooms. One of the most unrealistic things about Star Wars is that Darth Vader never swept into a conference room ready to do something dramatic and evil, only to find a bunch of IT people with sandwiches having their monthly planning meeting...

Warnick Campground

Next time you are in Utah, be sure to go hike up to Timpanogos Cave which is a few minutes up American Fork Canyon near Provo. After you've done that, go up the canyon a few more miles and turn right into Warnick Campground. Stop for a moment and pay respects to the Warnick cows that used to spend their summers frolicking there in the serene mountain meadows.

This has long been a source of family pride, but my brother only recently showed me that the US Forrest service describes it on their website:

Warnick Campground
Pleasant Grove Ranger District. The Warnick family of Manila, Utah, camped at "their" campsite each year during the roundup. Eventually the site became known as Warnick Campground.

I think that would be my great-grandpa and family.

Blue Man Group

We went to the see Blue Man Group last night. Never seen anything like it. Un. Be. Liev. Able.

Veteran's Day [Bryan]

It sounds odd to say "happy Veteran's Day." For me, it is a day of mourning. Not only for those who had to die in war or for those who were physically or mentally scarred. It is also a day to mourn the fact that our world is a place where people have to become "veterans" of human conflict. It is a day to mourn the existence of the (more or less) organized mass bloodshed we call war. It is a day of questions: "We were a family. How'd it break up and come apart, so that now we're turned against each other? Each standing in the other's light. How'd we lose that good that was given us? Let it slip away. Scattered it, careless. What's keepin' us from reaching out, touching the glory?"

In that vein, here is a Veteran's Day clip from The Thin Red Line:



My favorite quote is at the end:

Where is it that we were together? Who were you that I lived with? The brother. The friend. Darkness, light. Strife and love. Are they the workings of one mind? The features of the same face? Oh, my soul. Let me be in you now. Look out through my eyes. Look out at the things you made. All things shining.

Bryan Stories, Part 3 [Bryan]

Here is the third installment of my personal quest to better know myself by telling myself stories about myself.

It was something of a family tradition in my family to work at a place called Christensen Heating and Air Conditioning. The boss of the company, Walt, was a good man and a longtime family friend. Both of my older brothers had worked for Walt. He paid well and was generous with time off. I would hear stories from my brothers, though, about a man named Lee who was a foreman there. Apparently he had a foul disposition and a hot temper. I didn't pay much heed to these warnings, however, and the summer after I graduated from high school it was my turn to work at Walt's. It was then that I first met Lee in person. He was a small man, with a high-pitched voice and streaks of gray running through his hair. He always wore overalls.

I was assigned to be Lee's "grunt," meaning that he and I would go out to the job site and work all day together. After working with Lee for a few days, I came to understand what it meant to be degraded. The man was brutal. If the work was not performed up to his expectations -- if it was imperfect, or done too slowly, or simply not done his way -- he would make a public spectacle of you. He would criticize you in front of whomever happened to be around, be they plumbers, electricians, or homeowners. He took to calling me "Bry-guy" -- and that was the most respectful of the long list of nicknames he developed for me. "Moron" was actually much more common. Sometimes, he would combine the nicknames. For example, he would combine "moron" with "Bry-guy" and turn it into a little chant. "Moron! Moron! Bry-guy is a moron!" he would sing over and over again. When I made I mistake, he would yell "OOOOPS!" at the top of his lungs for the rest of the day. He was never pleased. At the slightest provocation, he would turn into a raging, overall-clad ball of sarcastic, dehumanizing furry. The worst part was that I had to ride in the truck with him for hours each day. Each moment featured a long list of insults and criticisms. Silence was even worse, because that's when I knew he was really seething.

Needless to say, I hated the man. At several points, I was nearly reduced to tears of rage and frustration. I was continually tempted to shake my hammer at him and scream the most vile curses upon him and his posterity.

In truth, I was just the sort of person Lee despised. He would see me reading Freud at lunch and laugh hysterically. I would tell him about my research at the University of Utah and he instantly declared it an "enormous waste of time." He mocked "self-proclaimed intellectuals" who, for all their theories and flowery rhetoric, had nothing important to say. What he valued was action over reflection, practice over theory.

But there are other things you should also know about Lee. First, the man was a true craftsman. He had the soul of an artist whose medium was ductwork and refrigerant lines. What marble was to Michelangelo, sheet metal was to Lee. Merely getting things to work right was not enough, it had to look right. The lines had to be straight, the curves pleasing, the design geometrically precise. The large houses we worked on were his canvas; his tools were the means of gaining human validation. It was his way of asserting himself in a world that was otherwise indifferent to a small, working man's existence.

The other thing to know about Lee was that, in fact, he would drop everything to help somebody who really needed it. Walt would tell me stories of Lee's generosity and I was floored. You really can't judge a book by its cover.

I decided that I wanted to be an artist in the same way that Lee was an artist. I doubled my efforts at learning the work I was supposed to do. I tried to discover the secrets that transformed something from a "good enough" job into a "work of art" job. I turned the seams of my roundpipe upward so as to be hidden out of sight. I tried to drill my holes neatly. I tried to line up my paneling so it would look like one long piece of sheet metal. I would ask him questions about how stuff would work. And I would work hard. The amount you could get done in a day was also a source of pride for Lee, and I tried to respect that.

Granted, I never did get to be an artist. My work was always a little rough around the edges. One day, though, Walt assigned me my own truck and, with this new independence, I tried to take pride in how the job looked after a long day of work. Over time, I believe this all gradually began to earn Lee's respect. He would still lash out occasionally with a vicious dehumanizing tirade. The nicknames would continue. But he began to talk with me, even sometimes to philosophize with me. I still remember him saying, "so here's a thought..." which meant he wanted to bounce and idea off me. We became friends, although I'm fairly sure he would deny that today if asked. I guess I know he thought of me as a friend because, when I got married, he gave me a wedding present. The present was this: a pencil sharpener and a toilet plunger.

Best song (and most intersting video) of the 90s [Bryan]

A song about life and death, falling and then rising again. Forces pulling from the center of the earth again -- I can feel it! And the only song to ever use the word "placenta" in its lyrics. Here is Live's Lighting Crashes.

My First Buckeye Game [Bryan]

I went to my first Ohio State football game on Saturday. Going to an OSU game is a religious experience for most people in the Buckeye state. I can see why: the pageantry, tradition, and passion are all to be found in plentiful quantities. I must say, though, that I felt like a bit of an outsider. After all, the Buckeyes were playing the Fighting Illini of Illinois -- my beloved alma mater. Don't get me wrong. I want OSU to do well this season, and they have. But I found myself inwardly rooting for Illinois. It is always good to see a team defy expectations, overcome criticism, and come out on top. That is what Ron Zook and Illinois have done.

Anyway, some scenes from the game:


Note that this was twenty minutes before the game started. That gives you some sense of the atmosphere.



Here the band is finishing is famous "script Ohio" when its writes out the name "Ohio." Notice the sousaphone player "dotting the i" at the end. Young tube players grow up in Ohio dreaming of the day they can do that. It's cute.



After an OSU touchdown.

ratemyprofessors.com [Bryan]

You may know about the websites that allow students to rate their professors online. Well, I decided to check to see if anyone had rated me yet. Sure enough, they had (scroll down to Warnick). Take special note: the chili pepper is given to instructors who are "hot." And no, I did not put that up myself. Must be the bowtie.

Bryan Stories, Part 2 [Bryan]

Here is my second installment of my personal quest to better know myself by telling stories about myself. (The first can be found here.) This story has to do with a guy named Pete who I met in the Salt Lake County Jail...but it's not what you think.

I was a senior at the University of Utah and I was taking a class called "The University Experience," taught by Jack Newell. This turned out to be a life-changing class for me, and it is actually the class and the professor that sent me along the career path that I am now on. Jack was a guy who believed that teaching consists mostly of telling stories. And boy, could that guy tell a story.

Anyway, we were reading an article that appeared in Harpers Magazine in the late 1990s by Earl Shorris. The article dealt with an educational experiment. Shorris went into the inner city and taught college level humanities courses to the urban poor. He and his co-conspirators taught classes in history, philosophy, logic, and poetry to struggling people who could barely read. The results, he found, were impressive. After taking the course, many of Shorris's students enrolled in college, engaged in political and economic activism, and so forth.

This article hit me like a lightning bolt. I had been searching for a way I could make a real contribution to the world. The article coincided with a growing unease about my easy lifestyle. This unease had started on my Mormon mission, where I worked closely with people living in slums and boxes. Returning to the United State was a jarring experience. Two years after returning, I was ready for closer contact with the world -- the real world of blood, sweat, poverty, and toil, where the drama of survival and redemption really plays out. At the same time, I was growing to love the humanities -- the world of the theater, art museums, dead languages, and Classical philosophers. Shorris's ideas, I thought, offered the chance to put my new passion to use in the service of my fellow man. I subsequently volunteered to teach inmates in the SL county jail. I was supposed to be preparing them for the GED, but I hoped to slip in a little philosophy and literature on the side.

Here is how it worked. The organizers of the program gave me a pass to enter the jail. They also gave me the name and the cell block information of an inmate who expressed interest in being tutored. In short, they expected me to navigate the jail by myself. To be honest, entering that place was always a scary experience. At various checkpoints, I had to wave my ID badge to the surveillance cameras so the guards would open the doors for me. I would pass cell after cell with inmates gazing (leering) at me. I would pass the cells, reeking of alcohol and vomit, where they would throw drunk people to "dry out." Distant shouting. Bars clanging. I was ever fearful of making a wrong turn and ending up somewhere I wasn't supposed to be. (To be honest, the scariest part was the guards, who thought my presence was simply an annoyance -- they had probably seen many do-gooders like me before.)

Usually, I would show up to the cell block, and I would ask the guard to go fetch the prisoner who had requested tutoring. Usually, the inmate refused to come out (often, they would sign up just to win favor with a judge). Sometimes, I would tutor for a session or two and the inmate would lose interest. But then I was asked to tutor I guy named Peter.

Pete had been in and out of jail 39 times, he said. He never told me what he got in trouble for, exactly, and I never asked. Based on some things he said, though, I think he may have been in there most recently for car-jacking. A violent offense, to be sure. But Pete was the first guy who seemed genuinely interested in learning. We worked on arithmetic, basic reading, and other GED stuff.

After a few sessions, I decided to put Shorris to the test. I gave Pete Book 7 of Plato's Republic to read after a brief introduction to text. This is a selection that deals with Plato's famous "Allegory of the Cave." This allegory talks about a man imprisoned in a cave. The man gradually works his way out of the cave, sees the sun, and returns to tell his fellow prisoners about it. The allegory deals with how we overcome "mere opinion" and come to know the truth. I only half expected Pete to read it.

The next week, I grabbed my ID badge and passed through the security checkpoints. Same story: Leering prisoners. Distant shouting. Annoyed guards. Pete emerged from his cell, clutching his copy of the Republic. He had read! Not only that, he seemed genuinely touched by what he had read. He told me about how his experience in jail had mirrored that of the man in the cave -- how he and his fellow prisoners were often blind to sun, which is Plato's symbol for "the good." We talked excitedly for about half an hour before turning to our regular tutoring activities.

I emerged from that dark jail with a feeling of euphoria. I felt like I was bringing something of real value to Pete, something nobody had ever offered him before. I felt like I was living up to the biblical injunction to visit the needy and those in prison. I had faced my fear and made a difference. Finally, I was living up to my ideals. I had found a connection between my passion and my contribution.

Other visits with Pete were equally exciting. I got him reading on the theme of "imprisonment." The next task we tackled was the narrative life of Frederick Douglass. Douglass, of course, escapes slavery through literacy. Pete really seemed to enjoy it. We were developing a good relationship. He was something of an artist, in a gangster sort of way, and often gave me his drawings. Pete seemed to be honored by this exposure to literature, history, and philosophy. It made him feel worthwhile to read such things, as if the treasures of civil society were finally his. It affirmed his humanity.

I wish I could tell you that this story had a happy ending. After a few months,though, Pete gradually began to lose interest. I would show up and the grumpy guard would go get Pete from his cell, only return and report that Pete said he was too tired to come out. After a few more weeks, I lost contact with Pete. Whatever spark had been lit during those few weeks had been extinguished. I still don't know what happened or why.

Did I find, then, the perfect reconciliation of personal passion and social contribution? I don't know. I guess you could say that I'm still looking.

Halloween [Bryan]

A good Halloween was had by the Warnicks. But. Is it just me or is there way more trick-or-treating than when I was a lad? This year, we went trick or treating three times. Once at our church activity (the misnamed "Trunk or Treat" activity), once at the so-called "Boo at the Zoo" (a Halloween activity at the Columbus Zoo), and then of course on Halloween night. This seems like a little much. Or am I just a Halloween Scrooge? (And what would a Halloween Scrooge say -- Boo-humbug?)

Anyway, I asked Nora what she remembered from Halloween, and she said, "Andrew tried to join all the Halloween families trick-or-treating and I didn't want to do anymore trick-or-treating." This about sums up our Halloween night. Nora got tired of trick-or-treating after about eight houses. I nearly begged her to continue, but she wanted to go home and eat her candy. Andrew, meanwhile, was really into trick-or-treating. Whenever he would see another family out trick-or-treating, he would try to sneak into their group. We would then have to go chase him down.

Oh, and I feel really guilty. This Halloween, I am ashamed to say, we ran out of candy. In Ohio, it is a tradition to trick-or-treat only during the official hours (6-8 PM) . And you have to either sit outside your house and pass out candy or at least leave your lights on and your door open so kids know that you are open for business. When we first ran out of candy, I dipped into our own children's candy so that we could feed the begging masses. With only 15 minutes to go until 8:00 I decided to turn out all our lights, blow out our jack-o-lanterns, and basically put up a "go away" sign. Five minutes later, though, the door bell rang, and out on our dark porch stood three adorable children. Bryan's dilemma: Does he further pillage his own children's candy, or does he tell the kids to go away? Bryan's solution: He slowly opens the door and meekly tells the children that he is out of candy. You should have seen their poor faces fall as they turned away. Since then, I have felt an unending stream of guilt. The lesson, dear reader, is this: find something, anything -- even multivitamins or a stick of butter -- to give to trick-or-treaters. Do not turn them away!